Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
