Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
false alarm. still invincible.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
