i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
