oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
