Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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