i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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