I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
