Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
