We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
