Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
