Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
