I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The uberlube is also flammable
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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