She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
