i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My dick has a subreddit
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
