yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
