All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
