Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
