me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
