I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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