We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
