She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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