Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
