Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
