my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
