Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
