how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
