He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
