she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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