he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
