So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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