don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
