I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
