I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
