I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
