I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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