o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
