is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
