Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
