I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
