So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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