Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
