Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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