I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
