you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
