I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
