i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
