i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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