Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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