guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
