found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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